To the editor:

As I was participating in my Debate Team’s district qualifiers tournament MOCK congress session, a piece of legislation caught my eye that I completely agree with. It was a bill to encourage Smoking Bans within restaurants across the nation. If a state didn’t ban smoking throughout their entire state, this state would lose funding for Medicaid.

As I read this piece of legislation, even as someone pretending to be a representative, I began to think of more ways within my power of banning things within restaurants that were a nuisance to the public, seeing as I the authority would be able to look over the paternal needs within our public. Then suddenly ... it hit me. Fajitas! I could ban fajitas!

Fajitas are such a nuisance within the restaurant to the people around them. First of all, you can hear them coming from a mile away. The sizzle as the hot plate enters the room causes a huge disturbance! Everyone in the restaurant has now diverted their eyes to this Fajita Fallacy and looks in disgust. Second the smell! The onions reek to the high heavens and make my eyes water! Third, THE SMOKE! The smoke from the fajita plate has filled the entire room! Here I am trying to enjoy a nice meal with my family ... and you are bringing in all that smoke! I leave the restaurant and all I smell like is smoke! SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE! I mean can these fajita eaters just eat fajitas from the inside of their homes! Or perhaps step outside and eat their fajitas from the outside of the restaurant? Or maybe even get a to-go box!

In conclusion, I feel that as a MOCK legislator after passing that bill that we should begin to look at other ways we can use our power to make restaurants safer and more enjoyable to the consumer. After all the real legislators always make the right decisions to look out for the best interest of the people even if it means stepping on some rights in the process. The point is that power should always be used as means of paternal, philanthropic means to protect the people.

— Corbin McDavitt

Laurel