Welcome to day 14 of my 30-day excursion into vegetarianism.

Here are some observations from the other side.

Observation 1.) I’ve actually become a carbotarian. As long as it doesn’t have a face or a tail, I’m eating it. Pancakes, French fries, bagels, hash browns, nachos, Cap’n Crunch, and cheese pizza all have one thing in common— no meat. My motto this September: No meat, I eat.

My wife said, “That’s cheating. You’re supposed to be eating only vegetables.” Who said so? I have several good friends who are vegetarians. They love pancakes and stuff like that. I’m just following their lead. No veggie burgers and soy patties for me.

Observation 2.) People walk up to me in restaurants and check my plate. “Got any meat on there?” one man said last week. Nope, just waffles, eggs, and hash browns.

Observation 3.) I forgot how much I love seafood. I don’t think I’ve ever gone 14 days without seafood. That’s 14 days with no shrimp, no fish, no oysters, and no crabmeat. No crabmeat.

The one consolation going into this challenge was that it’s been a bad year for soft-shell crab. At least I won’t be missing soft-shell crab, I thought. Wrong. After a spotty spring and summer, now in the fall, when soft-shells are usually dwindling, we’ve got abundance. It’s some type of late-season fluke that we haven’t seen since way before Hurricane Katrina. It’s killing me.

Observation 4.) Forget water-boarding, I know true torture— sitting in my restaurant eating the Vegetable Sampler— sautéed spinach, roasted asparagus, mashed potatoes, and sugar snap peas, while the table of four next to me is eating Soft-Shell Crab.

When we added all of those vegetable options to the menu, I had no idea I would be relying on them so much. I have become the best customer for the Crescent City Vegetable Sampler. Fried Green Tomatoes, Cheese Grits, and steamed broccoli don’t have a face or a tail, so they’re all fair game. Book it, October 1st, I’ll be eating soft-shell crab for breakfast.

Observation 5.) PETA, the group that has sent me hate mail for 10 years, now loves me. I received an email from the president of PETA this weekend.

Yes, people are joining you:  Steve-O just did (see new blog on peta.org). He has lost weight, but he did cut out the dairy and eggs too. Kind regards, Ingrid Newkirk, president, PETA

Observation 6.) The folks at PETA are obsessed with people who eat dairy and eggs.

Observation 7.) I am not going to give up dairy and eggs.

Observation 8.) If one writes in the newspaper that he is going to become a vegetarian for a month, many will follow. It’s amazing. There have been over 100 people who have written or approached me in public to tell me that they are going vegetarian with me in the month of September. Fools.

Observation 9.) People who eat fried chicken live longer. I just read an Associated Press story about the death of the world’s oldest person. Gertrude Baines died last week. She was 115-years old. The article stated that her favorite foods were, “Fried chicken, bacon, and ice cream.” I knew it.